Unfortunately, many people may not understand how one feels about the death of a beloved pet and may not extend the sympathy and support a person needs at this time.  We understand how important it is to feel supported during this grieving period.   

The loss of a beloved pet can affect you the save as the loss of a close friend or family member.  Because your pet was a part of your home life and daily routine, your feeling of loss can be very pronounced.  You may go through a grieving and mourning process much the same as if a beloved person had died. 

 

Questions:  
 

• How long will I feel this way? 
• How will I get over this?
• How do I tell my children?
• How will I handle my pet's remains?
• When will I feel better?

Other Resources:  
• Recommended Literature 
• Links to Grief Support webpages 

University of Florida Pet Grief Hotline: 
• About us 
• Making the call 
• Donations 

Your grief may take quite a while to work through.  Give yourself time.  It may take weeks, months, or even a year or two, to complete the grieving process.  That is an individual response of everyone and is completely normal.  

Some of the feelings you may initially experience can include a feeling of shock or numbness at first--like the death didn't really occur.  Denial is a normal part of the grief reaction.  It may help you through the grieving process.  

As you grieve, you may also feel very intense feelings of anger.  Anger at God, at the veterinarian, at yourself, at a family member, or anyone who may be involved with the pet's death.  You may have feelings of guilt, thinking "If only I had done things differently, my pet may not have died."  You may want to make "bargains" by saying "If only my pet can come back I'll be very good, or I'll give all my money to the poor, or I'll go to church everyday."  

You may feel intensely sad for periods of time.  You may feel depressed and emotionally drained.  You will probably miss your pet terribly and think of it often.  That is understandable.  

These are all normal reactions to the grieving and mourning process.  These feelings, although they seem strange to you now, are natural.  It is okay to express them.  You may want to talk about your feelings with a friend, write your feelings in a journal, or call us at the Florida Pet Grief Support Hotline. 
 

  

 

The following ideas have helped people to work through the grief they have experienced from the loss of a pet:  
  

• When a pet dies, you may want to allow yourself and your family some time to be with your deceased pet, if possible.  You may just need time to be together, to cry, and to talk about the loss.  If you are alone, you may want to call a friend, relative, or the local Crisis Center.

  
• Have a funeral or memorial service for your pet at the grave site, the woods, your home, or the pet cemetery.  This does not have to be elaborate, and can be helpful in saying good-bye to your beloved pet.

  
• Do something symbolic to remember your pet.  Remembering helps to keep your loved ones alive in your heart.  Plant a tree, make a contribution to a worthy cause, or do a good deed in your pet's honor.

  
• Talk your feelings out.  Tell the story of what happened as many times as you need to.  Discuss your loss with someone who has also lost a pet--they can understand what you're going through.

  
• Allow yourself time to mourn.  If you feel like it, get snapshots or home movies of your pet.

  
• Take good care of yourself--grief can be hard on your health!  Be sure to eat well, exercise and get plenty of sleep and rest.

  

 

Remember that other family members are grieving as well, especially children.  They will need to work through the grieving process just as you do.  Children need reassurance to talk about and remember their pet.  

The death of a pet can provide the opportunity to teach a child that death is a natural part of the life cycle.  Adults will need to discuss life and death in a gentle and honest way.  

It is also important to refrain from telling the child that the pet is "only sleeping"; they may become afraid to sleep.  The child may be unable to grasp the permanence of death and may expect the pet to come back.  There are excellent books available in the library on how to explain death and grief to children. 
 

  

 

You may choose to bury your pet at home, in a pet cemetery, or have the remains cremated.  Perhaps your veterinarian has already taken care of the burial or cremation for you.  If not, ask for their help. 
 

   

 

Finally, after you have mourned your loss, you will begin to cope with, and finally accept what has happened.  This can take time and effort, but healing will come.  At some point, you may feel ready to get another pet.  Of course, you can never replace the pet you have lost.  It may however, fill that void in your life and home that only a pet can fill.  This is a decision you will make when you feel ready to.  
 

  

• F. Rogers.  When Your Pet Dies.  Putnam Books, 1988.

  
• B. Fogel.  Inter-relations Between People and Pets.  Charles C. Thomas Co., 1981.

  
• E. Kubler-Ross.  Death and Dying.  Macmillian Publishing Co., 1977.

  
• Herb & Mary Montgomery.  A Final Act of Caring.  Montgomery Press.

  
• H.A. Nieburg & A. Fischer. Pet Loss:  A Thoughtful Guide for Adults and Children.  Harper & Row.

  
• J.E. Quakenbush & D. Graveline.  When Your Pet Dies:  How to Cope with Your Feelings.  Simon & Shuster.

  
• Pet Loss.  Contact American Veterinary Medical Association at 1-800-248-AVMA.  May also be obtained through most local veterinarians.

  
• The Loss of Your Pet.  American Animal Hospital Association's Member Service Center at 1-800-252-2242.  May also be obtained through most local veterinarians.

  
• When Your Animal Dies.  Contact American Veterinary Medical Association at 1-800-248-AVMA.  May also be obtained through most local veterinarians.

  

The Pet Grief Support Hotline was started at the University of Florida College of Veterinary Medicine in 1991.  The phone line is staffed by volunteers, many of whom are students at the university.  Each volunteer receives training in the methods of grief counseling and support.  

When you call, your message is recorded and a volunteer will pick up the messages once a day; typically in the evening.  If you call after the volunteer has checked for messages, your call will returned the next evening.  If you know of others who may benefit from this service, please feel free to give them the phone number.  

The Florida Pet Grief Support Hotline operates 24 hours per day and 7 days per week throughout the year.  This Hotline operates both nationally and internationally.  There is no charge for the service.  The Hotline is totally dependent upon donations.  

The Hotline is supported by the Florida Animal Health Foundation, the University of Florida Student Government, the Board of College Councils, the University of Florida College of Veterinary Medicine, the World Animal Care Foundation and private donations. If you would like to make a tax deductible contribution to the Hotline, please contact: